How to cope with a bullyish, dominating spouse.

Bullying and domineering between spouses is a painful experience that does not only affect the couple but also the kids. This is normally a behavior motivated by a culture of one party wanting to force his or her way instead of using diplomacy. It may also be a way of a negative self defense. The worst case scenario of this condition may lead to domestic abuse such as forced sex, violence, psychological and a lot of emotional torture. The tips shared here may help a couple to prevent a bullyish behavior from turning abusive.

Avoid harboring resentments. Stored anger will always lead to an outburst at some level. People have different levels of tolerance. But this should not be used as a weakness or failure to address the issues that you find disturbing in your spouse. Have formal forums to address a behavior that rises against your agreement to be together in marriage. No compromise. Be accommodative but firm enough not to allow abusive traits to take form. Big tragic actions start with little negative characters overlooked for a long period of time.

Set tasks and goals and have each party attend to the mutually agreed duties then have moments of evaluation. Agree on measures to be taken should one party go against the set parameters. If there are kids in the family they should also be involved in family duties so as to form a strong sense of responsibility. This is a good way to make sure that all hierarchies are well observed without feeling bossed around. Most abusers are lazy and like taking advantage of other peoples’ efforts. Irresponsibility invokes the negative self defense that may lead to cases of domestic abuse.

Make budgets, have organized finances and give allowances where necessary. Finances are the center of disagreements in most families. If for instance a husband overspends or misuses family funds he may develop a defensive mechanism of screaming to everyone or turning violent as a way of trying to cover up.

Be in touch and have your presence felt at home. Staying away from one’s family due to a distant job or any other reason can have nasty effects. Most people who remain out of touch with home for a long period of time find it difficult to cope with their spouses and end up turning violent to try to force their acceptance.

Seek marriage counseling. If things turn unbearable and all your efforts bear no fruits in preventing domestic abuse you may consider to see a marriage counselor. Make sure to always be alert if you are staying with a disturbing partner for many cases of domestic abuse can get irreversibly tragic.

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