Communication is key in solving most of the common problems experienced in all relationships. Couples with principled ways of addressing their differences remain intimate and can manage to smile even in life’s most difficult moments. Nothing succeeds without skillful styles of communication. Saying something to your spouse or a dating friend is great, but choosing how, when and where to say it is thrilling.
Develop a positive attitude.
A positive attitude during communication helps you to fully identify with your spouse regardless of any form of stand off. It’s amazing for companions to lay aside their personal interests to create room for each other’s interests. Constant sharing is like a reflective mirror that makes you see your image every time you look at your spouse. This is one of the best ways to keep friendship alive.
Couples who openly share their feelings and identify with each other’s instincts, defend their relationship. Good communicators are good friends, and good friends support each other.
Forgiving or seeking forgiveness is not a weakness. Words like, “I am sorry” are not meant for children and servants only.
It is uncommon for two people to always agree on everything, otherwise life can be so boring. Living together requires a couple to selflessly and unconditionally forgive each other instead of expecting their spouses to be perfect. The perfect partner in marriage is the one that does not expect the other to be perfect.
Forgiving each other makes the couple to grow together emotionally. A spouse who harbors resentments like he or she wants to have all evidence of the wrongs and inconsistency to be produced in a court of law both prosecutes and passes verdict against his or her own marriage
Express genuine appreciation.
All of us feel good when we get recognized. Nothing is as soothing as an act of appreciation without flattering. Be a keen observer to what your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend has done and learn to appreciate him or her on those specific issues. Being specific about what you appreciate promotes his or her commitment to you. One can easily realize your interest from what you appreciate instead of when you give a vague compliment. Thanking each other is one of the strongest instruments in a happy relationship. Happy couples thank each other. Identify the areas of excellence in your partner to compliment him or her about the best he or she has done. It’s good to build on the positive side of your companion instead of always looking for his or her faults. Learn to say “thank you”, appreciate what your companion has done even when he or she may not have done it to your perfect satisfaction. The best way to grow together is by appreciating and thanking each other through failures and inconsistency.
Be an attentive listener.
How would you feel to find yourself in an office of someone whom you thought would help you only to find that he attends to you as he reads a newspaper? Of course I know it would break your heart. Most men are accused of losing concentration while listening to their wives or girlfriends. There is nothing as consoling as looking intently at the eyes of your spouse and giving him or her time to empty his or her heart to you.
Use of gestures like nodding your head, lifting your eyebrows and relevant facial expressions can be vital authentication to your active concentration. Some people have a problem of jumping into conclusions or asking suggestive questions even before they understand the problem. Listen as he or she talks.
Don’t raise your voice.
- One afternoon as I took a walk across a small valley, I heard some wild noise of male voices filling the waves from down the spur. As I descended the incline, I could see two gentlemen who from the top of their voices appeared to have a heated debate. The more they approached me the more they got louder. In fact I had thought it was a crowd. Could you guess what the noise was all about? They were happily discussing how a soccer team they had been cheering on had triumphed in a match.
Surprisingly, while some people would raise their voices out of excitement others do so out of fury. But whatever the case, a gentle voice displays courtesy, wisdom and self control. Learn to use a soft voice when addressing your spouse and you will be able to win him or her even on the most volatile issues. Controlling your voice can help save your relationship. You can still be firm and soft without necessarily getting rowdy, hitting the table with fists or banging the doors.
Avoid assumptions to avoid disappointments
Many people get disappointed when their companions fail to meet their expectations. Others suffer emotionally from set backs created by laying too much confidence in their friends.
Always make sure you have understood your companion well. Ask questions where he or she was not clear instead of filling the blank spaces by yourself only to be disappointed later when he or she disowns a pledge you highly regarded.
Aim at a solution.
In normal circumstances everyone wants to emerge a winner whenever there is an argument. People have diverse reasons why they support their views. Some people would better faint in an argument than appear to be losers of the same. But it is better to lose a war of an argument than lose your relationship. It is easy to arrive at a resolute consensus if in the first place your mind is aimed at a solution than winning in a war of words. Conflicts are almost inevitable when people live together. Nevertheless they are easily resolved by focusing on achieving a solution and avoiding situations that could fuel them up.