Love in itself is selfless and we all want to feel that warm embrace from those we feel affection for. There may be some incidences you can point out to in your relationship, where you feel your partner is selfish and you are wondering whether to persevere or to quit. Or there may be that particular date you can recall when you ended up in a heated argument and it was all about his or her selfish behavior. Well, selfishness kills romance in many relationships. Self-centered behaviors have caused many breakups and heart –ache to those who have purposed to ignore their instincts hoping their partners will change.
Some reliable studies like that conducted by Dr Tim Phillips and colleagues from the University of Nottingham have found that people with selfless characters are likely to become very good lovers. I know of a friend who helped a woman he had never met before to get to the hospital after she was knocked down by a hit-and-run driver. She got admitted and he helped to cater for all her needs and assisted in settling her medical bill. This led to a turn of events growing into a very romantic relationship once the woman was out of the hospital. They are now married and I hope they’ll live happily ever after.
Coming back to our topic, selfishness kills romance. The challenging thing about selfishness is that it’s that’s so camouflaged during dating that not many people are able to notice it early in their relationships. You’ve got to posses a sixth sense to spot a self-centered trait in the early stages of love. That’s why courting for a reasonable period of time before getting committed to a long-term relationship cannot be overemphasized.
Have your instincts been pointing out to some self-absorbed elements in the character of your boyfriend or girlfriend? If the answer to this is yes and you are in a new relationship then you need to know that he or she is likely to worsen in the later stages of your relationship. The following are just but a few of the character traits you are likely to find in a selfish partner.
You’ll know that selfishness kills romance, if your boyfriend or girlfriend is emphatic on what he/she wants in a relationship and never gives you a chance to express what you want. You may also be able to detect this trait if he or she never takes your concerns as serious as his/hers. This is an outright red flag.
If he or she adopts and defends a certain upsetting character, claims it’s their nature and are unwilling to change even when you express your displeasure with it, then you are courting a selfish partner.
If he or she is fond of hurting others in your presence, cares less, shows no remorse and it will take a heated argument before admitting that they were wrong then if you are the type of a person who wants to wait and see – you’ll truly see their true colors once you are settled in a relationship. You don’t want that to happen, do you?
He or she is very humble and friendly when broke, promises to buy you gifts but suddenly becomes rude on the pay day or when expecting to make some good money – he or she might turn out to be the worst miser you’ve ever known.