I receive numerous questions from many young women, and senior single women too, on things one should consider before getting committed to serious relationship. Well, it takes a lot of things – and it doesn’t have to be applied uniformly on everyone for all relationships have different dynamics. Having said that, there are a number of things that can guide you as you gauge whether he really is the one and whether he’s worth your heart for a long-term relationship.
Below are some of the most common things to look for in a man, much before you begin to expect him to propose marriage.
Your mutual expression on Love language
A man that you want to live with for the rest of your life must be clear when it comes to his communication of love to you. Both of you should feel a flow in the way you handle your love and how you express affection for each other. By and large, this should also lay a good ground for pushing the same goals and seeing life in the same perspective – a good quality for a happy relationship. However, this doesn’t have to mean that you and your boyfriend must agree on everything. What it means is that you’ll still have to understand each other and find peace even during conflicts or disagreement.
Whether he has a home or planning about acquiring one
Before you can move on to make any commitment for a long term relationship, you need to know where he comes from whenever he comes to meet you. And even getting to see his house is not enough. It could be his friend’s or his brother’s and he might soon not have anywhere to take you even after you have already announced to all your friends about your long-term relationship and plans of getting married to him.
Observe His family ties Before you Commit Yourself to Long-Term Relationship
Each one of us comes from a family, and we don’t have to be the same, ideally, we are all brought up in different cultures and backgrounds. But there is a way everyone is expected to relate with their family members. If your boyfriend has a warm relationship with his family members then that is a very good sign that he embraces family values. Get to know how he treats his mother because he’s likely to treat you the same. But be ware of a guy who is overly controlled by his mother. You don’t want your man to be your mother-in-law’s finger puppet.
His future plans
You definitely want to have a long-term relationship with a guy who is passionate about the future. Not just talking about it. He has to be realistic, and you’ve got to share in his priorities. You must be concerned about the plans he has for settling down if for instance he doesn’t already own a home. Listen carefully and judge on what he wants about his family.
Is he comfortable when you discuss sexuality? – Of course this is going to be an important thing in marriage, isn’t it? What is his sexual health status? Is he comfortable to take an STD or HIV test? Does he want kids and if he does how many is he having in mind? If what he wants is like heaven and earth in relation to your dreams or priorities, then it may not be the right time to give in for a long-term relationship.
Job and Investment Plans
Before you give in to pressure – since you don’t just want to have the ring on your finger, you’ve got to know whether he has a stable job and where he plans to put his money. A boyfriend without a clear source of income may not as yet be ready for a serious relationship. At least not ready to settle down in the near future. Then he must have a clear-cut plan on money management and investment. You also have to judge whether you agree on his proposals. Some couples like to have a joint bank account. Others like to have separate accounts. It’s good to agree on this as so many break ups are centered on family finances or investments.