Numerous studies conducted on the behavior of dating and how former relationships impact the new ones have confirmed that it’s not a good idea to hurriedly date after breakup. One of those studies was carried out most recently on Canadian and American women. Out of the 123 women aged between 18 and 53 who participated in the survey, who reported a decline in their new relationships also coveted their Exes.
It’s a fact that people are always falling to the trap of jumping into new relationships as fast as they break up and only come to realize sooner or later that they should have taken time before beginning to date someone else. While it’s been said that experience is the best teacher, it’s also true that ‘he’ comes to the classroom when it’s already too late in life. Since you don’t want to wait until you learn under the ‘tutorship’ of experience, I have thought of understating some 5 reasons why you shouldn’t be in a hurry to date after breakup.
You are likely to be Comparing your new Girlfriend or Boyfriend with your Ex.
Whatever time you may have spent together with your Ex, whether weeks, months or even years, there must be some things you like or hate about them. And some of them may have contributed to your break up. If you get into a new relationship before taking your time to heal from the hurt of losing the former, you’ll likely transfer your pain to your new partner. And they don’t deserve that. Neither will it be healthy for you – both physically and emotionally.
Rushing to Date After Breakup Would be trying to settle scores
Seeking a new relationship immediately after a break up is one way of trying to prove a point to your Ex. Like, “Let them go to hell if they thought I wouldn’t find another guy or a girl to date”. Well, while you may be having a point to prove here, chances are, you’ll make mistakes and perhaps join a pathway of ‘kissing a lot of frogs’ from now on.
You are desperate to cover a vacuum
Every breakup comes with its own losses and you’ll definitely feel the loss of a person who cared for you, someone you were committed to and even invested in – both materially and emotionally. It’s possible to try to go for a quick fix to fill the void left by your ex. But experience has proved that most people who do so end up settling on the persons they’d not be ready to settle down with. Take your time to heal and walk over your loss without feeling like you are out to meet some sort of time limit.
Being in a Hurry to Date After Breakup Might transfer pain to your new Relationship
Since almost every break up is followed by painful moments, it’s common to find that you are blaming your new girlfriend or boyfriends for the wrongs they have not done. Instead of enjoying yourselves as it’s expected in a new relationship, your passion may still be vested in your former boyfriend or girlfriend and you won’t be doing justice to your new partner.
You end up Dating the Wrong Persons
Moving from a breakup and hopping to a new relationship before healing from your emotions is like reacting to an impulse. A reaction to an impulse may lead to a wrong resolve, making you to come to terms with the situation when it’s too late. That’s how you might end up dating a person you are not ready to get committed to or even someone who is out for short term pleasure. And you don’t want to be wasting your time with persons who are not the right matches for you.
If you find yourself in a break up, the best thing you can do is to take your time, engage a skillful relationships counselor, and keep companies of mature, caring friends until you’ve successfully gone over it.