Almost all relationships strive with a certain degree of jealousy, and there is nothing strange about that. Because marital love guards its territory with a passion and detests to be shared with third party. But extreme jealousy can be unhealthy to a relationship, especially when partners fail to reason together and address the causes behind the feelings of jealousy. We look at some of the reasons why jealousy prevails in relationships and offer suggestions on how to overcome it.
Establish the source of jealousy.
Some reasons may be very genuine for you to feel jealous, some may be far fetched. The best way to tackle jealousy is by closely examining your life and that of your partner. Are there things your partner keeps complaining about you? Are there fields that you feel incompetent and you fear that there are other people close to your partner who are better than you? Do you feel at all inadequate, insecure or inconsistent? If you answered yes then you need to ‘hold the bull by the horns’ and improve your skills in the fields you feel challenged. This way, your self esteem will be elevated and you won’t feel to face any measure of challenge – because you’ll be equal to any task. You won’t fear that your partner would have any reason to shift his attention from you to any other person.
You may be hoarding resentments that your partner does not openly recognize your efforts. There may be no suspected cases of cheating but you feel you deserve a remarkable pat on your back. Well, that’s fine. But you don’t need to weigh yourself down with jealousy if you like your performance. People have different ways of expressing their gratitudes. If he or she is not complaining, it means they are happy. You may want to look around and learn how your partner appreciates you differently, and you’ll have overcome.
Quit the past.
Is there anything wrong your partner did in the past, and you can’t trust him or her any more? Or could there be something that took place in the present or past relationships that makes you over cautious? May be someone has cheated on you in the past and that makes you to stalk your partner. You feel jealous when he or she receives or makes calls, or seeing him or her with members of the opposite sex, including his or her staff, fearing it would happen again. If it’s all centered on what happened to you in the past relationship, or in the present one but you have already resolved it and vowed to move forward, then you’d better quit of the past.
Use diplomatic approach
If there are genuine concerns, may be you suspect your partner is cheating on you and indeed you have some grounds to peg your feelings, then you need to act. It doesn’t have to be an affair but he or she may be spending more time with friends, cars, computer games, Internet or pets. And this drives you jealously mad. Take a mature diplomatic approach, without creating scenes. If your partner owns up and he or she is willing to change, then you have killed two birds with one stone – overcoming jealousy as well as saving your relationship. If it gets difficult, you can always get a third party both of you highly regard to come and mediate your case. You may also want to see a professional counselor.